What The Sims taught me about being a better manager

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When I was 12, I made my Sim dive into the pool. Then I deleted the ladder.

It wasn’t malicious. I just wanted to see what would happen. (If you played The Sims in the early 2000s, you already know what happened.) She swam in circles. Got tired. Waved at me with a little thought bubble showing a ladder. And eventually, she drowned.

At the time, I laughed. It felt chaotic and harmless. But now? I think about that moment every time I watch someone at work get thrown into the deep end without support. Because I’ve realized: a lot of leaders are still deleting the ladder.

I’ve seen this pattern over and over, dressed up as delegation. A manager says, “You’ve got this!” but doesn’t offer context. They say, “You’re leading this now!” but don’t give real authority. They say, “Take initiative!” while quietly gatekeeping access to the people and information that would actually help.

On the surface, it looks like trust. But it’s not. It’s “good luck!” in a trench coat.

Delegation without structure isn’t empowerment. It’s abandonment with a smile.

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Most people want to step up if you let them breathe.

I’m not saying you should handhold your team through every task. Some of the best growth happens in the deep end when someone’s stretched just far enough outside their comfort zone to rise to the challenge.

But if you’ve removed the ladder—no tools, no support, no feedback loop—then you’re not helping them grow. You’re just watching them tread water and hoping they don’t drown.

Real leadership is giving people space to swim, and a way to climb out when they need it.

A gut check before you delegate

Here’s a quick set of questions I like to ask myself when I’m assigning a new project:

• If this goes sideways, do they know what to do?

• If they get stuck, is it clear where they can go for help?

• If they need to reset or ask for more time, will they feel safe doing that?

If the answer is “eh, they’ll figure it out,” that’s a sign the ladder’s missing.

If the answer is “they’ve got a clear path and I’m here if they need me,” you’ve set them up for success, even if it gets messy.

You’re not 12 anymore

I didn’t know better when I deleted that ladder. I was a kid playing a game, testing limits, curious about what would happen.

But we’re not 12 anymore. We’re leaders now. And our job isn’t to watch how people survive. It’s to create the kind of environment where they can actually thrive. That means building real structure, not just cheering them on from the sidelines.

So yes—give them the project. Let them take the lead. Challenge them. Stretch them.

But also?

Leave the damn ladder.

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