Getting comfortable with saying "no"

Saying “no” is a critical leadership skill.

• Leaders who master the art of saying “no” protect their teams, maintain focus, and drive better results. They also protect their own time!

• But many struggle with it, fearing conflict, being held back from a promotion, or missed opportunities.

Why it matters: An effective “no” will lead to a more impactful “yes”.

• By declining low-value tasks, you free up resources for high-impact work.

• Clear boundaries foster respect and trust within your team and organization.

• It’s easy to feel like you need to prove yourself by saying yes to everything, but you gain more respect from boundaries than you do from being that employee who says yes to everything.

My take:

• Before I joined Spot AI I ran a development agency for 7 years, and I’ve been freelancing for nearly 20 years.

• One of the biggest lessons I learned over this time was learning to say no. In the self-employment world, every “no” to a potential project means you’re turning away money, and that can be scary.

• What I actually figured out over time is two things: (1) saying “yes” to a project I knew would be a hassle always ended up being a hassle, and (2) saying “no” actually allowed me to move upmarket and increase my rates. I’m a living, breathing example of why saying “no” made me a better leader.

The big picture: Saying “no” isn't about being difficult; it's about being strategic.

• It's a tool for aligning actions with priorities.

• When you leverage “no”, you help maintain quality standards and realistic timelines. Seriously! Taking on too much at once leads you to cutting corners, thereby decreasing your work quality.

How to say 'no' effectively:

1. Be clear and direct

2. Explain your reasoning briefly

3. Offer alternatives when possible

4. Use the "Yes, and..." technique

5. Practice empathy in your delivery

What to watch: The ripple effects of your “no”s.

• Monitor team morale and productivity. Watch for increased focus and engagement on core tasks. You might notice fewer complaints about being overwhelmed and more proactive problem-solving. My team will often point out how they know I’m shielding them from some constant requests, and they’re not wrong!

• Observe how stakeholders respond to you. They may not immediately like you saying no, but they’ll catch on. You’ll find them making more thoughtful requests with time, respecting your boundaries.

• Track the quality of work on prioritized tasks. I mentioned previously that saying yes → cutting corners → reduction in quality. Pay attention to this! With more focused time, you might see improvements in both the quality of output and the speed of delivery on key projects.

The bottom line: Mastering the “no” is about saying “yes” to what truly matters.

One caveat: There’s a cultural implication to saying yes and no that cannot be ignored. You know best the global culture in which you work; adjust your responses accordingly.

SOMETHING EXTRA:

🚫 Do you struggle with saying no? I read The Power of a Positive No a long time ago and it still sticks with me today.

📺 You know I can’t resist sharing a new Web Dev Challenge episode. Check out Jason Lengstorf’s most recent video. I love seeing my friends do cool things.

📚 Want to be a better communicator? Smart Brevity will make you rethink how you approach creating content.