You are the monster under your bed

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My friend Ryan recently shared a post on LinkedIn celebrating five years of coaching high performers. In this post he talks about the most common pattern he sees in even the highest of performers: self-imposed limitations that force you into your own ceiling.

I’m a high performer. I’m also highly susceptible to impostor syndrome. I can’t express how many times I’ve looked around an in-person meeting wondering why this seat was given to me of all people. Or how many times I’ve held myself back on charging more money for speaking or even applying for certain opportunities because I didn’t feel like I was good enough yet.

Soon, I’d say.

Just get a little bit more experience.

Spend a little more time in my career. I’ll know when I’m ready.

Which is a total farce, because there are times when I’ll never feel ready.

A quick thank you from this week’s sponsor:

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I titled this newsletter “You are the monster under your bed” because we are our own worst enemies when it comes to our success. As a child you may fear what lies dormant in the dark. You don’t know what you can’t see, and that mystery creates fear.

As adults we may no longer be afraid to exist in a dark room alone (or maybe you still are - we listen and we don’t judge), but these fears still manifest in other ways—most commonly in our career.

I’m telling you this as much as I am writing this as a reminder to myself: you are in control of your career. We’re all granted different opportunities throughout our lifetime—some more frequently than others—but what we do with these opportunities is what makes all the difference.

In fact, I recently lived this lesson myself. I put myself out there and asked for something that I knew was a long shot. The answer was no, and honestly? It was the most uncomfortable I've ever been in my professional career. But a friend helped me see it differently—this WAS growth. This was managing up. Now there's no mystery about where I want to be in the next phase of my career. The monster under the bed wasn't as scary as I'd imagined. Even though I didn't get what I wanted, I learned a critical lesson about what it takes to step out of the dark and into the light.

Instead of running from the monster under your bed, come out. Walk through the dark. Embrace that discomfort and know every moment of discomfort is a moment of growth. It may not feel that way in the moment, but you’ll look back on this moment and say, “that was tough, but I’m tougher.”

Want to work with me? Here are 3 ways I can help you:

1. Upgrade to paid membership: You’ll get VIP access to Friday deep dives on newsletter topics shared on Tuesdays, as well as the archive of all free Tuesday posts. This includes scripts and templates you can put to use immediately.

2. Sign up for a future session of my course: I’ll help you learn how to identify and coach team members, manage conflict up and down the chain of command, and give and receive effective feedback.

3. Sign up for 1-on-1 coaching: If you prefer to learn alone, I offer one-on-one coaching to aspiring and new tech leaders.